Family & Parenting

Portfolio

Courtesy of Jason Cartier, Financial Advisor Ibis Financial Group

We know that Americans are in denial about their finances. Federal data show they spend like there’s no tomorrow. Our middle class is among the most affluent in history, but many people in the middle class are living paycheck- to-paycheck with futures, mortgaged to pay for increasingly expensive amusements.

Despite their spending habits, many Americans-especially women-are tormented by the notion that they will outlive their money. A Securian Financial Group poll of 400 women ages 30 to 64 were asked about their financial sense of wellbeing. The company also asked about their perceptions of the financial impact of long-term care (not the insurance, but the actual care). The overall theme of their responses can be described in one word: fearful. Even respondents with annual household incomes of $100,000 or more struggle with the fear that long-term care could wipe them out financially.

These fears grow out of the ongoing public discussion about the extent to which Americans are now responsible for their own financial futures. When we sit down with our advisors, we seldom talk about how we can accumulate wealth—how we can afford to keep ourselves as healthy and physically comfortable as possible every day of our lives. Not just the first 75 or 80 years, but if we live to 110.

Many discussions about finance are with men and long-term care may not be a top-of-mind topic for most men. Men don’t live as long as women, care giving is the central focus of much of women’s lives as they raise children, nurse elderly relatives and, as the couple ages, maybe even take care of their more fragile husbands.

Women need to talk about long-term care in the financial planning discussion. The Securian research shows this is a universal concern among women, even among those in $100K+ annual income households. Only about ten percent (43) of the respondents in the Securian study fall in the income category so the sample size is small. However, you will see the percentages are large enough to make the results compelling.

FINANCIAL HOUSES OUT OF ORDER

While women in the $100K+ income category are more sanguine about their finances than women with smaller incomes, that’s not saying much. When asked whether they consider themselves financially well off, only 42 percent in the affluent category answered in the affirmative. This is a much higher percentage than for the whole group (17.2%) but considering that current U.S. median household income is around $46,0001, it’s a surprise to learn that people who make more than twice that do not consider themselves well off. In fact, an astounding one in five (20.3%) women in the $100K+ category agreed “an unexpected expense of $1,000 would put me in financial hardship.”

That means their margin of personal financial error is less than one percent. No wonder they’re anxious.

Where is their money going? You’d like to think it’s going into their retirement plans. However, nearly 40 percent of the high-income group (39.2%) says, “After meeting my current financial obligations, I have very little put away for retirement.” Additionally, more than one-third (33.8%) of the women in this group do not agree with the statement, “I have my financial house in order for my future.”

It appears that some of these respondents are trying to put the brakes on their spending. Nearly one fourth (24.3%) say they generally are on a tight budget and nearly two-thirds (63.5%) say they are “very cautious” when spending money. Nonetheless, financial concerns are top-ofmind. More than half (55.4%) of the $100K+ group say they are concerned their money will not last through retirement. Clearly, these women are agonizing over their financial futures. And we haven’t even talked yet about their sense of financial responsibility for their parents’ long-term care.

LONG-TERM CARE AS A WOMEN’S ISSUE

Caring for elderly parents seems to fall to daughters and daughters-in-law. Studies show that 59 to 75 percent of family caregivers are women. Additionally, because they live longer, the majority of nursing home residents (70%) are women. But women are less likely than men to have the financial wherewithal to pay for long-term care. Because they take time away from their careers to take care of family members and because they generally are paid less, women’s average lifetime income is lower than men’s. Research from the National Center on Women and Aging shows family care-givers lose and average of $566,443 over a lifetime in reduced salary and retirement benefits.

The Securian study shows that the majority (60.2%) of the 400 women polled agree that “because parents cared for their children when they were young, grown children should take care of their parents,” implying a personal willingness to care for their parents. However, they are not sure the money is there to pay for any care beyond what they personally would provide.

One-third of the 183 women whose parents both are still living are concerned about the quality of care their parents will receive because of limited finances. More than one-third (35.9%) is concerned for their parents because of their own limited finances.

THE SOLUTION IS NOT OBVIOUS TO CONSUMERS

Long-term care insurance may be a solution to this problem, however only 60 percent (57.8% of the 400 respondents) agree, “Long-term care insurance is a necessity in today’s world.” But it’s not clear that they know what long-term care insurance is. Over one fourth (28.5%) say they don’t know whether their parents do have long-term care insurance. The “good” news is that only a small minority assumes the federal government will pay for their parents’ care. Five percent believe their parents do not need long-term care coverage because Medicaid will cover their expenses should they become disabled as they age. A similarly small percentage (5.2%) holds the same belief about their eventual long-term care expenses.

A NAGGING CONCERN

It’s not a surprise then that the cost of long-term care is a nagging concern for women. Among respondents of all ages and incomes, 41 percent said their biggest fear is becoming a financial burden to their families. Even in the highest income category, more than one-fourth (27%) expressed this fear.

People who have dealt with elderly parents’ medical crises and subsequent care know it takes a far greater toll on their personal and professional lives than they ever anticipated, part of this is due to a lack of planning. Of the women whose parents required care before they passed away (91), a whopping 84 percent said the decision about where care would be provided was not made until the care was needed.

SEEK HELP FROM A FINANCIAL ADVISOR

A financial advisor can help you prepare for the likelihood that someday, one or both of you will need some form of long-term care. By raising the long-term care issue, you are raising a topic that Securian’s research shows is top-of-mind with most women because they tend to be the family caregivers.

A financial advisor who focuses on long-term care has the compassion and the ability to connect with their clients’ innermost fears and can help relieve the anxiety of an uncertain future.

With heightened awareness and careful planning, they may be able to help you afford a comfortable and secure old age without posing a financial burden to the people who love you most. V

Jason Cartier is a Financial Advisor with Ibis Financial Group located at 3300 PGA Boulevard,Suite 970, Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33410. He can be reached at 561.910.2471 or at jcartier@ibisfingroup.com. Ibis Financial Group is headquartered in Boca Raton and has an additional office in Orlando. For more information, please visit www.ibisfingroup.com.

A03543-0909

1Securian Financial Inc., Conducted by Gestalt, 2008.

2 Arno, P.S. (2002, Feb). The economic value of informal caregiving, U.S., 2000.

3 The MetLife Juggling Act Study, National Alliance for Caregiving and the National Center on Women and Aging, November 1999.

Adult Summer Camps

Adult Summer Camps

Because summer vacation isn’t just for the kids anymore

By M.M. Cloutier

Jamming with a rock n’ roll band, swimming with dolphins, partying with chefs, orbiting to space, rubbing elbows with great minds—summer camp isn’t what it used to be. It’s better—and it’s for adults, too.

In our faster-better-more culture, grown-ups increasingly aren’t satisfied spending time “off” lying on a beach. According to the Travel Industry Association, more than 30 million U.S. adults have taken an educational trip to learn or improve a skill, sport or hobby in the last three years. Tens of millions more have taken an adventure trip during that period. Whether you consult the latest statistics or flood of anecdotal evidence, more and more adults are leaving their Blackberrys¨ and briefcases behind for a day, weekend, week or more to relish the celebratory world of what would seem an oxymoron: adult summer camps.

They’re becoming one of the most pervasive trends in summer travel and no one knows that better than Nancy Lapook Diamond, president of a Boca Raton-based company, NicheDirectories that runs a Web site called grownupcamps.com.

The site, currently the most comprehensive adult-camp directory, gets 100,000 unique hits a month—and Diamond expects its user activity may soon rival her company’s ever-popular flagship kids’ camps directory, which Diamond launched more than a decade ago.

“No sooner did we go online with kidscamps.com when we started getting e-mails from adults saying they wanted to go to camp, too,” says Diamond. “That interest has skyrocketed. As we say, why should kids have all the fun?”

It’s not exactly a surprise, then, that some kids’ camps around the country now are launching adult versions of themselves, including Florida’s Camp Ryno (“Rediscover Your Natural Obsession”) in Santa Rosa Beach, where adults soon will be able to enroll in extreme-sports weekends sprinkled with meditation and other activities.

But adults being adults and kids being kids, grown-up camps aren’t just like kids’ camps. First, it helps to play it a little loose with the definition of “camp,” since terms like “workshop,” “program” and “seminar” fall under the adult-camp rubric.

Second, accommodations and amenities typically are a far cry from tents, bug juice and mess halls. Finally, camp categories run the gamut, from hiking and canoeing to culinary, dance, sports, visual art, current affairs and more.

“Today, when people have time off, they’re interested in renewing a passion, sharpening a skill or learning something new,” says Diamond. “Some people simply want to recapture a sense of the camp experience they enjoyed when they were young or to participate in a camp-like experience they never had growing up.”

The easiest way to find an adult summer camp that suits your interests is to browse camp Web sites or search the Web with such key works as “summer camps for adults.” A plethora of possibilities pop up, which can be narrowed by indicating a state or category preference, among other things.

HERE IS JUST A TASTE OF THE MANY WAYS YOU CAN SPEND YOUR VACATION:

CAMP RYNO, Santa Rosa Beach, FL (campryno.com): The camp’s credo is to “inspire you to strengthen your body, enlighten your mind and enrich your soul. Live, laugh and learn extreme sports while becoming whom you truly wish to be.” For years, it has been geared toward teens with surfing, kayaking, snorkeling, free-diving, meditation and exploration of the area’s history and natural landscapes, but weekend-long adult camps are slated to be launched in a couple of months.

INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES, Sarasota, FL (incredible-adventures.com): It’s headquartered in Florida, but Incredible Adventures has day- and multi-day camps both in the Sunshine State and elsewhere. Florida-based adult programs range from three-day sharkdive adventures to a program at Kennedy Space Center. The space center adventure allows guests to embark on a plane for a fantasy trip through the galaxy that concludes in zero gravity “outer space” as you bounce around the cabin like human popcorn.

THE DOLPHIN RESEARCH CENTER, Marathon, FL (dolphins.org): Day- and week-long adult camps bring you up close and personal with dolphins. The center’s adult DolphinLab and “All About Dolphins Program” is a seven-day program that includes a blend of hands-on and in-water interactive experiences with dolphins, as well as seminars, observation time, snorkeling field trips, research and training workshops and more.

ROCK N’ ROLL FANTASY CAMP (rockcamp.com): The camp, where adults share the limelight with living rock legends, annually touches down on cities from London to New York to Las Vegas. The three-day experience includes small group instruction from celebrity musicians, playing and writing your own original song, rehearsing and recording at professional studios, and performing live to a sold-out audience at a major rock venue. Depending on your skill level, you may spend time singing backup vocals or playing tambourine.

NEW ORLEANS COOKING EXPERIENCE, New Orleans, LA (neworleanscookingexperience.com): Among other offerings, NOCE’s immersion cooking-class series includes two-, three- and fourday series in the company of a small, spirited and fun class each day with New Orleans chefs, followed by a meal and good cheer. Weekend and long-weekend culinary programs also are offered.

OUTWARD BOUND, Golden, CO (outwardbound.org): Outward Bound offers hundreds of adventure-based wilderness expeditions for all ages. Courses, as the camps are called, demand pushing your limits and working as a team. Adult summer programs include a week-long river rafting adventure in Oregon to face the challenges and rewards of the rivers. Campers also explore historical and cultural sites in the area — from Chinese miners’ houses to Native American pictographs.

IDYLLWILD ARTS, Idyllwild, CA (idyllwildarts.org): Every summer, hundreds of children, teens and adults attend Idyllwild workshops, week-long festivals and programs under the pines along hundreds of acres. Here they can pursue pursuing interests in creative writing, dance, music, theater and visual art—all under the auspices of some of America’s finest artists. Idyllwild Arts’ Family Camp is a huge draw each summer.

THE ASPEN INSTITUTE, Aspen, CO (aspeninstitute.com): The institute’s version of adult summer camp is its week-long Aspen Ideas Festival (aifestival.com), presented in conjunction with The Atlantic magazine. It brings those of us with curious minds together with an army of thinkers —from former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright to actor, playwright and author Anna Deveare Smith. Activities include panels, debates, discussions and one-on-one interviews, with topics ranging from world affairs to innovations in education. Cultural events are part of the mix. V

Sandwich Generation Survival

Tips for enduring the current economic climate
BY PHYLLIS GOLDBERG, PHD. AND ROSEMARY LICHTMAN, PH.D.

These are unprecedented times. With the breakdown of traditional financial institutions, the wildly fluctuating stock market and the trillion-dollar government bailout, Americans are confused about how to respond. Some people are in denial, not prepared to grasp the problems and potential consequences. Others are angry at what they see as awarding recklessness on Wall Street and by their neighbors. Still, others are in a panic about the gloomy economic forecast. These are all common emotional reactions to loss. And for Sandwich Generation Boomers many of whom are financially responsible for their growing children and aging parents they’re scared as they watch their dreams of a comfortable retirement disappear.

With individuals, families, our government and other countries leveraged now, it looks like the whole world has to adjust to a slow recovery. Credit card debt, amounting to 9000 billion dollars in our country, makes putting off present pleasures for future gains sound like a very good idea. Getting back to basics may be just what society needs. If you’re waiting for a rainbow after the huge storms we’ve been weathering, there are ways to make it happen.

Medical care companies report that mental health calls due to financial pressure have increased over 100 percent in the past several months. Early signs of distress sadness, irritability, lack of motivation and changes in sleeping or eating patterns can be subtle and easily missed in a busy family. However, as the economic turmoil continues, there can be a snowball effect. So, if you or any family member is having emotional symptoms, add some of the following 10 healthy strategies to your bag of tricks.

TAKE A PULSE OF THE SITUATION without putting your head in the sand or overreacting. Pay close attention to what’s going on around you. Yet avoid getting caught up in a pessimistic mindset, which can result in higher levels of anxiety and poor decision-making. Try to remain calm and stay focused on what you need to do for your specific financial situation.

BE REALISTIC AND FACE THE FACTS. If you’re not already, live a simpler life within your means. Focus your efforts, because living your convictions is harder than just making the decision to change. Be accountable for your financial goals and create a concrete spending plan. You don’t have to panic, just begin to take small steps and smart steps toward your goals. Learn how to have fun without spending money frivolously. This is a great time to advise your growing children and elderly parents of the same. Inviting friends over to play cards, checking out a book or movies from the public library, catching up with friends on a walk, or taking your family to the park are all great ways to entertain without overspending.

BECOME PROACTIVE BY IDENTIFYING YOUR FINANCIAL STRESSORS AND MAKE A PLAN. Write down specific means by which you and your family can reduce expenses or manage your money more efficiently. Although putting it down on paper can be worrisome in the short term, committing to a concrete plan will gradually reduce your stress.

RECOGNIZE HOW YOU DEAL WITH TENSION RELATED TO MONEY. Avoid unhealthy activities like smoking, drinking, gambling or emotional eating. Financial pressure can bring about more conflict and arguments in relationships. If any of these behaviors are causing problems for you, find healthier approaches to deal with your anxiety and stress.

Ours is largely a culture of impulsive recreational shopping. Do mindful shopping and take advantage of the opportunities ahead.

GET TO KNOW THE SUBCONSCIOUS MONEY SCRIPT THAT YOU LEARNED IN CHILDHOOD FROM YOUR PARENTS. If your family was extremely frugal, you may follow their example and have the same fiscal habits. Or, having felt deprived, maybe you go in the opposite direction and spend with abandon. Understanding the dynamics of how you spend and why, will free you up to explore new money management options.

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX. Times like this, while difficult, can offer opportunities for much needed change. Try taking a walk to clear your head-it’s an inexpensive way to get exercise and be more fit. Having dinner at home will not only save money, but bring your family closer together. Advise your grown children to take a good look at their professional status and goals, as well as their unnecessary expenses. Through low-cost  resources in your community, they can learn a new skill that can lead to a better job or take a course for advancement in their current position. The same can apply to you. Perhaps this is a time to invest in your executive MBA. Many universities and colleges are offering extraordinary, affordable programs for advancement. The key is to use this time to consider new ways of managing your life.

TURN CALAMITY INTO CATHARSIS. Pull back on frivolous spending and strategize in order to reach your goals. Maybe it’s time for you to sit your child and elderly parents down and analyze their current needs as well. Make it “OK” to put off unnecessary spending so that you, and they, can have a better life later. Investing in a home for your children or downsizing for your elderly parents may be just the right time now. Put some money, no matter how little, into personal savings every month or pay off your credit card debt. As you make sacrifices, keep focused on your values, like restraint, accountability, self-reliance, hard work and determination.

STAY CENTERED ABOUT WHAT YOU PLAN TO BUY, WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD AND WHAT REALLY MATTERS TO YOU. Ours is largely a culture of impulsive recreational shopping. Do mindful shopping and take advantage of the opportunities ahead. Analyze what is available to you now and what makes sense. Remember that despite the pessimistic outlook, there are in fact, good opportunities available to people with some money to spend. To begin the transition to mindful shopping, make a list of the items you plan to purchase. Then decide how important each one is and, if it’s not that necessary, let it go. Continue to differentiate between what you want and what you need.

ALTER YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE LONG RUN.Appreciate the changes you are making now for your future well-being. You may have to work longer than you expected if you are nearing retirement. Research indicates that if you enjoy your work, there is added value in the stimulation, engagement and camaraderie it provides. Let off steam and reduce stress by discovering low cost fitness through gardening or scaling steps.

GET PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT. Credit counseling and financial planning can teach you how to take control of your money situation. If you continue to feel frustrated, scared or overwhelmed, talk with a professional. A therapist or coach can help you understand the feelings behind your financial worries and show you adaptive techniques to manage your emotions.

Yes, retirement funds are in jeopardy. And Sandwich Generation Boomers are wondering how they will pay college tuition for their children, help their parents on a fixed income and ever be able to retire themselves. But while you can’t always control what happens, you can control how you deal with it. Your response to the financial crisis depends largely on your interpretation. The sense you make of it all is called “reframing.” And here you do have a choice: either to imagine that circumstances will never change or that you can find a silver lining within the dark clouds.

Despite all the anxiety and panic, you can avoid a knee jerk reaction. Instead of an automatic response, think about what is driving your fear before reacting. If you’re concerned about the impact on your family, remind  yourself that families can grow stronger when they weather challenges together. By acknowledging the feeling and thoughts you have, and gently redirecting your attention to the positive, you can decrease the stress you are experiencing. And when you’re not feeling so defeated, you will make choices that will better maximize the opportunities ahead.

Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. are co-founders of HermentorCenter.com, a Web site for midlife women and NourishingRelationships.Blogspot.com, a blog for the Sandwich Generation. They are authors of a forthcoming book about how to heal the pain in family relationships and publish a free newsletter, Stepping Stones, through their Web site. Their articles appear often on the popular Web site, VibrantNation.com. As psychotherapists, they have over 40 years of collective private practice experience.

Leaving Your Legacy

LEAVING YOUR LEGACY

Providing heirs with incentives to earn their inheritances

By Rebecca G. Doane, Esq. and Randall C. Doane, Esq.

A large inheritance can be a blessing or a curse depending on the choices made by the beneficiary. Whether a child or grandchild who has inherited sizeable wealth chooses to focus on entrepreneurial, artistic, family, charitable or other worthwhile goals, he or she will have an extraordinary opportunity to experience great achievement in his or her field of interest. On the other hand, if the child or grandchild does not choose wisely, a substantial inheritance can compromise their opportunity to experience the satisfaction and fulfillment that would come from great success in important endeavors of their choosing.

The legacy incentive trust is designed to encourage children, grandchildren and future generations to make intelligent and thoughtful choices that will more likely lead to lifelong satisfaction and personal fulfillment.

Unfortunately, experience shows that a very high percentage of third-generation wealthy is not involved in business, the arts, philanthropy or any other worthwhile endeavors. More often than not, a substantial inheritance serves as a disincentive to creativity, learning, undertaking challenges or assuming risks that could lead to happiness, fulfillment and self-esteem. Parents who worry about the negative effects substantial wealth may have on their heirs may want to consider the advantages of a legacy incentive trust.

A legacy incentive trust will achieve the usual estate planning goals of probate avoidance, tax reduction and asset protection. However, a well-drafted incentive trust will also encourage and incentivize future generations to acquire those qualities and values that you deem important. The terms of the trust can be used to motivate future generations to develop a sense of productivity, diligence, dedication and curiosity, and to foster education, stewardship and your family values.

This type of trust allows you to specify the criteria that you would consider when making distribution decisions. Therefore, where appropriate, distributions can be tied to attainment of specified goals and values such as education, accomplishment, hard work, integrity, contribution to society and any other standard you choose.

For young children, grandchildren and future generations, the distribution plan often consists of two elements. The trustee is first directed to pay for basic needs such as education, health, modest living expenses and possibly the maintenance of family homes or other facilities. The second element involves the incentive feature where additional distributions are tied to the beneficiary’s performance.

Incentive distribution standards may consider achievement in education, entrepreneurship, personal inancial success, benefiting society or any other goals or qualities you deem important. Incentive provisions may be as simple as an earned income match, or may factor in a number of other concerns such as the income potential or the benefit to society of a chosen career. Provisions may be included to discourage negative behavior such as substance abuse, or to encourage positive behavior such as philanthropy. Of course, the incentive features of the trust apply differently to the various beneficiaries. In the case of a long-term arriage, the trust will often provide broad discretion during the lifetime of the surviving spouse to distribute income and principal among the surviving spouse, descendants and charities as appropriate. After the death of the surviving spouse, the incentive features of the trust will affect distributions to the grandchildren, and may or may not be applied to the children.

When the children are fully grown, and have already developed the qualities and interests they will likely always have, there may be little point in trying to incentivize them at that point. If the parents themselves have not succeeded in developing well-adjusted and productive children, the trustees will likely do no better. Therefore, the provisions for grown children typically require distributions of a fixed amount or percentage of the trust annually, with the remaining income being reinvested or distributed among grandchildren or charities, including a family foundation. For young children who are still developing the level of drive, ambition and integrity that will be theirs for a lifetime, the incentive features of the trust will apply.

An incentive trust should be flexible so that distribution guidelines can evolve over time provide for emergency situations such as a divorce, chronic health issues or severe economic conditions. The choice of trustees is a critical issue and the appointment of a board of trustees may be appropriate during the incentive phase of the trust.

The legacy incentive trust is an important option available to wealthy parents wishing to influence their descendants in a positive manner for generations to come. It permits the passing on of family goals, values and ideals. Properly designed, the incentive trust can provide important encouragement to future generations.

Rebecca G. Doane, Esq. and Randell C. Doane, Esq. are board certified attorneys in Wills, Trusts and Estates with offices in West Palm Beach, North Palm Beach and Stuart.